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Rainy day Raquetball by ~unorthodoxfaith:iconunorthodoxfaith:



They shake hands,
a symbol of good sportsmanship,
a sound of thunder heard in the sky.
He serves;
she hits- forehand.

Thwack.

Backhand,
The rain pours down like a lockerroom shower.

It's out of bounds.
Her serve.
Soon the ball is in play once again,

A ballet,
of swinging rackets.
He jumps, he swings
The water wips about,
it's own interpretive dance.
It twirls and she bends,
she misses and the water swings,
and sways.

The stage is lit.
A crack of thunder and rush of lighting,
illuminates the court.

The ball flies,
once to her,
back to him,
out of bounds,
the game is over.

The stage grows dark,
the performace is over.
They smile at each other,
a job well done.
©2004-2008 ~unorthodoxfaith
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Submitted: February 7, 2004
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Comments: 18
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I have no idea...really

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~helloelise:iconhelloelise: Feb 7, 2004, 9:00:54 PM
YES!
BRAVO!
something different from the massive amounts of teenage angst floating around.
you rock.
yes yes yes.
:+fav: of course.

keep it up :)
~unorthodoxfaith:iconunorthodoxfaith: Feb 7, 2004, 9:08:21 PM
^_^ Hey thanks! I've kind of... -veered- away from that stuff since it been kind of a disgrace around DA...People were bashing me for it, so I kind of just stopped for a while collected my thoughts. WRote something different, I'm glad you liked it :D

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~karmacursed:iconkarmacursed: Feb 7, 2004, 9:41:47 PM
Very nice, but every game of raquetball I've played was in doors. :confused:

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:bulletblue: I wonder if Jesus got pissed because he couldn't get laid his entire life? :bulletblue:
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~unorthodoxfaith:iconunorthodoxfaith: Feb 7, 2004, 10:51:44 PM
Yeah. I meant for it to be tennis I guess. I couldn't make up my mind.

I'm retarded like that

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Share your kindness, not your hate.
Love the art, before yourself.
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~karmacursed:iconkarmacursed: Feb 7, 2004, 11:59:40 PM
Well, every one is retarded. Tha made me laugh. :) Doesn't matter what game you eanted it to be, but the dance and interaction it represents in the rain is what I found important.

--
:bulletblue: I wonder if Jesus got pissed because he couldn't get laid his entire life? :bulletblue:
:bulletgreen:Great Art=playground~xxhauntedxx
:bulletred:A place for dark writers~dark-writing
:bulletblue:A cool chick !CageyButterfly
~canisdirus:iconcanisdirus: Feb 8, 2004, 12:31:33 AM
I've played raquetball outdoors. Mind you, it was messy.

Very nice poem. For some reason it reminds me of British sitcoms.... Maybe because of its simplicity and subtle wit. Anyway, good job! :)
~unorthodoxfaith:iconunorthodoxfaith: Feb 8, 2004, 12:33:45 AM
Lol, thanks. I thought I meant for it to be tennis but...

I just don't know

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Comment, to get comments.
Share your kindness, not your hate.
Love the art, before yourself.
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~canisdirus:iconcanisdirus: Feb 8, 2004, 12:37:28 AM
Definitely keep it raquetball. It's much more visually humorous that way.

Unless of course that *wasn't* the effect you were going for. :)
~unorthodoxfaith:iconunorthodoxfaith: Feb 8, 2004, 1:41:29 AM
Oh of course I was going fo that effect lol

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Comment, to get comments.
Share your kindness, not your hate.
Love the art, before yourself.
-------------------------
I lick Kittens and they are yummy